A man I know recently confided to close friends over dinner his intention to end his marriage. It was not, he explained, that he and his wife did not love each other; the trouble was they did not respond to each other. We all nodded, understanding perfectly what he was referring to—that rich and resonant feeling of affinity, the big, open yes that makes this particular person seem different from all others, more compelling, able somehow to uncork emotion that usually stays contained. None of us questioned that the absence of this feeling diminished my friend’s relationship.
Just as we respond to some people but not others, some privileged kinds of information can draw from us a big, open yes—whether that information comes in the form of a soaring guitar riff, a novel that entangles us in its characters’ lives, or an idea that is so beautiful or startling or lucid that it sets up...
Julie Sedivy is an adjunct professor of linguistics and psychology at the University of Calgary, and the co-author, with Greg Carlson, of Sold on Language: How Advertisers Talk to You and What This Says about You (John Wiley & Sons, 2011).
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