Whose Menu Is It Anyway?

Canadians of a certain age may remember when schools released cookbooks. Recipes were drawn from the student body, teachers, and parents, with the collected results then sold to raise funds. My elementary school in Gladstone, Manitoba, released a few during my time there, and I still have one, Gladstone Elementary School Recipe Book, from 2004. Inside are such culinary nightmares as “jellied cabbage deluxe,” “creamed cucumbers,” “burpless onions,” “taco quiche,” “microwave manicotti,” and “pizza schnitzel.” What to make of this nauseating mishmash?

“These recipes,” my principal wrote in his introductory message, “are representative of the variety of cultures found in our community.” The word “variety” in this case was doing a lot of heavy lifting: “Japanese chicken wings,” “Danish meatballs,” “Baja lasagna,” “Applebee’s Chinese salad,” “Aunty M’s chop suey,” “Land of Nod cinnamon buns,” and “beef international.” But you can be assured that the authors of...